18 weeks 6 days

Wow... It's been ages since I've updated this blog. I promise from now on, I'll do better -- much, much, MUCH better!!

Tomorrow is the big day. We have our ultrasound at 9:30 and if all goes well, we'll be able to find out the sex of the baby. I do have gut feeling, so we'll have to see if I'm right tomorrow. In all fairness -- I've told very few people what my true gut feelings are on this one. I've decided to stay pretty quiet about it as I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea. I really don't care what the sex of the baby is... With that being said....

Katherine really wants a baby sister, and Caleb really wants a "brudder". So regardless of what the ultrasound shows in the morning, I'll feel both overjoyed and sad. Since this will most likely be our last child, it means that either Katherine or Caleb will have the opportunity to experience a sibling of the same sex.... the other one, won't know what it's like to have that special bond. For the one who gets the sibling of the same sex, I'll be elated for them. I'll rejoice in their excitement as they'll be about to experience an amazing relationship -- one like no other. For the other one, I'll share in their disappointment, and I'll understand the sadness they may feel. However -- regardless of what the baby is, the relationship they both will have with it, and with each other will hopefully grow and evolve over their lifetime. I'm not sure if any of this makes sense or not ..... it just may be the late night ramblings of a pregnant woman! LOL.

So now here I sit, unable to sleep, and anticipating the big ultrasound in the morning. I can't wait! Truly, I really don't care what this baby is... I just want to know! It's strange -- with Katherine I desperately wanted a girl, and given the Hanson genes I feared I'd never have a daughter. (Matt is the youngest of 4 boys, his oldest brother has 3 boys, his brother Todd recently had two boys -- along with a daughter in college, his grandfather was one of 5 boys -- right Fran??). So when I found Katherine was a girl, I was walking on air. Literally, I would not have been happier if I had just won the lottery... actually, I felt like I did win the lottery!! With Caleb, I knew from the second I conceived that he was a boy. The ultrasound was nothing more than a formality. I would have bet almost anything that he was a boy. Both of them have brought so much joy to our lives, but in such different ways. They are each amazing, remarkable little people and thankfully mine.

So regardless of what this baby is, I have no doubt it will be the perfect fit for our family. He or She will complete us, and make us wonder what we ever did before s/he arrived. So until tomorrow, I can't help but to wonder if our home will be invaded by more cars and trucks and boyish play, or if more tea parties, magical weddings and pink frilly things are in our future.....